Monday, March 9, 2015

Motor Oil Beard Balm: Contents with Purpose

Motor Oil Beard Balm is handmade in the USA, and has 13 ingredients specially formulated to make your beard grow faster, and be thick, strong, full and juicy, but it contains no motor oil! It combats split ends by soaking essential oils into your beard that mimic human oils and are readily absorbed by your hair.  The clean and manly scent will keep you going throughout the day too, you just might find yourself smelling your beard and mustache from time to time! Each ingredient is carefully chosen with a purpose, lets review! 

ALL NATURAL & ORGANIC: Read "High Quality and Expensive". But not uppity. Beards aren't uppity. We didnt spare any cost sourcing only the best ingredients from the most scrupulous sources. There are no fake fragrences, only properly processed natural scents from actual plant sources. Your beard reacts most favorably to ALL NATURAL and ORGANIC materials.

YELLOW SHEA BUTTER: This butter provides the ability to melt the beard balm in your hand to spread in your beard, and anti inflammatory properties. More importantly it conditions your beard and your skin and prevents flakes. So stroke your beard wisely, and don't be flaky. 

MANGO BUTTER: This organic butter is best known as a sun protecting anti wrinkle skin moisturizer. It also has some other amazing skin health properties like fighting dandruff and eczema, making it perfect for the person with sensitive skin. And you know you love a da Mango. 

YELLOW BEESWAX: This give the beard hairs a coating that causes them to have a slight reflective tint and appear full and thick. It also gives a hold to the beard that brings control to scraggly unruly beard hairs. Scraggly beard hairs must be controlled! 

OLIVE OIL: because olive oil is used for anointing oil. So just consider yourself anointed in the name of Jesus. He's the one that inspired our Motor Oil Beard Balm. Cuz Jesus has a kickin beard. You'd have been jealous. 

EXTRA Virgin GOLDEN JOJOBA OIL: That's right, this oil isn't just a little bit virgin,  it's EXTRA virgin. All that virginity makes it more effective for dryness and dandruff because it is easily absorbed into hair and skin. It will make your beard and skin appear full and strong. This is useful for when you are doing manly things like chopping wood, or scaring little children. 

VITAMIN E OIL: rubbing this into your skin will promote healthy skin that sprouts beard hair at an alarming rate. If you're going for a Noah or Moses length beard,  this is what you need! 

TEA TREE ESSENTIAL OIL: This antimicrobial oil has been used to combat acne and healing wounds, while stimulating the immune system. It is among the most non irritating antiseptic essential oils. Its adds an astringent scent to Motor Oil Beard Balm. After all its good to smell clean. 

EUCALYPTUS ESSENTIAL OIL: This oil can be taken orally, it is used to repel insects, sooth nasal passages, to treat wounds, and combat athsma and allergies. It provides a cool soothing scent. This is the most prevalent smell in our product. 

PATCHOULI ESSENTIAL OIL: While this oil is well known for its earthy deep scent, it also has anti aging properties, and has anti acne and dandruff properties. It smells manly and mysterious. If you are a man,  those qualities are very important. 

BLACK PEPPER ESSENTIAL OIL: Holistic doctors use this oil to assist people who are struggling with tobacco addiction. While it provides a strong manly smell, we added this specificly for those fighting this terrible addiction.

GINGER ESSENTIAL OIL: this sweet smelling oil enhances libido. That's right, when your wife buries her nose in your beard, you want her to feel something. And ladies like the smell of ginger. Especially ginger beards. We are not responsible for anything that happens after she smells it. So don't let any other ladies smell your hear now, hear? 

FRANKINSENCE AND MYHRR: this is just a reminder that we love Jesus, and we want to give Him all the Honor we can. These two scents were given to baby Jesus, if you remember the Christmas Story. 

DIRT: that's right, all natural and organic fair trade South Carolina grit from my backyard. Because men like to get dirty. Life is gritty and so even though you'll never see it or feel it, we've got dirt in there for a man like you. 


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